One of the smartest things I’ve heard come out the Kardashian sisters mouth is the quote : God only gives you what you can handle !!!! Every time things are bad I think, well God only gives me what I can handle, so I guess it wasn’t meant to be…..
That makes me really sad though, but why else would I have the life I have? I probably in all honesty, wouldn’t be able to handle more than I have..
One of my friends just announced on Facebook that she’s pregnant with twins.. I’m really trying to be happy for her, and I am, cause she really deserves it… But oohh…. God I wish it was me… Buhuuuuu…. Now she gets to play happy little family, and the planning, ohh the planning, thats the best part of being pregnant.. Considering which crib to choose, the color on the walls, the searching of names, the decorating the rooms, the buying the stroller and car seat, the buying cute little outfits, packing the bag for the hospital and welcoming the two little beautiful wonders to the world……. God I wish it was me….. Just can’t come to peace with the thought of it never happening to me again, just can’t. I am so grateful of my daughters and I know how truly blessed I am… However somethings missing… somethings missing….
I’m just not happy, I’m miserable, I’m so not satisfied with the way my life has turned out… And I’m really trying to be content with what I have, I’m really trying, but theres just that something missing….
If only I won the lottery, I could build my dream house, I could choose a donor dad and have the babies I’ve always wanted, I could decorate their rooms, I could plan and I could be a stay at home mom for the rest of my life…. God the dreams…. If only one of them would come true…. I just wish, I dream, I hope…. But God only gives me what I can handle right…?!