Alright so I haven’t been so active online these last couple of days as I have been super busy.. I currently have tons of home work or well not exactly homework but I have to prep for my internship and there’s just tons to do. At the same time my daughters are home this week as it’s the fall holliday, so juggling kids and preparation all at once is quite the challenge. I also turned 36 on saturday, yeah 36 OMG I’m OLD, Buhuu… BUT but but, I got the most amazing gifts for my birthday… I got this ring from my parents, It’s not a new ring but my grandmothers whom I lost a little over a month ago. It just means soo much to me, and I’m soooo happy to be able to wear this every single day in her memory.
Nike running pants, the new Daisy Perfume from Marc Jacobs, Essie nail polish, 100 dollars
AND a brand new iPhone 6
AND then I also got the most amazing thing……
A TRIP TO New York City…. WEEEEEEEEE… I’m so exited, I finally get to go to the states again and I just can’t wait.. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be getting such amazing gifts.. I talked to my boyfriend last week about my dream of having another baby. I made it very clear to him how much I wanted it and how much it would mean to me. He knows how scared I am to miss my opportunity, as I’m not getting any younger and I told him how I didn’t think it was fair for him to be the one to solely decide how our future was gonna be.. You see he doesn’t wanna compromise on anything..! I wanna get married (we’ve been together for 16 years and have 2 kids), I want more children, and I want us to live together (he’s only home 6 days a month -working and living in another country). He doesn’t want any of those things and then thats just the way it is…! So I finally told him how I felt.. well and then he gave me a trip to new york, a jacket, a perfume and an iPhone…..!!!!! hmmmmmmm… Last time I told him I really really wanted a baby, I got a dog…. ha ha ha, I guess I have to talk about babies a little more huh.. Wonder what he’ll buy for me next… Even thought I’m really happy to go to the states I must admit though that I’m also having some quite ambivalent feelings about all this. You see I now that for the next month or so I have to walk on eggshells as I can’t get him angry or he’ll just cancel the trip. Also I really have to show my gratitude and keep telling him over and over again how lucky I feel and how much I’m looking forward etc. And it’s not that I’m not grateful, cause I really am, It’s just really hard for me to show my gratitude when I know how it’s gonna be once we get over there.. I guess again it’s just the fact that it’s HIS money, and therefor HIS decisions, HE controls what I can buy and what I can’t buy and just having to ask every time I wanna buy something ohhhh thats just soooo hard…. Also I just know how he’ll lecture me on how expensive the trip is for the next year or more and he’ll tell everybody he knows, how he’s spoiled me so that everyone can pad him on his back and tell him what an amazing man he is..
If only I could win the lottery before I go… Cause how awesome would it be to be able to buy what ever I want and not having to ask (beg) him for every single little thing over there.. It’s just not the same as if I had my own money, and I do still have a little pride left… BUT I love the states so much so for that little trip I think I’ll pack away my pride and just be happy and grateful that I actually get to go over there…!!!