No House, no Car, No money – but a baby in my tummy.!!

Yeah so a lot has happened these last couple of months, a long hard roller coaster ride  filled with chaos and emotions, and a whole freaking lot of them..!!

So saturday feburary 14th I found out I was pregnant !!!!! I couldn’t believe it and for a week or so I kept taking pregnancy tests every single day – after taking 14 pregnancy tests I finally believed that I was pregnant. In the past I’ve had a couple of miscarriges though so I didn’t want to say anything to anyone – including my boyfriend – before I was sure that everything was okey.. I mean if I was gonna loose the baby anyways I didn’t see any reason to cause chaos in our relationship.. So I made an appointment for an early ultrasound at 7+4 weeks pregnant and my plan was to tell him after that – depending on the result of course.. However my oldest daughter figured it out a couple of days prior to the ultrasound so I felt that I had to tell him so she didnt have to keep secrets from her dad. And so I told him..!! And thats when the chaos started….

He got absolutely pissed..! I had expected him to get angry as he really doesn’t want more kids, but I don’t think I had quite expected the reaction I got. He basically told me to get an abortion or move out..!!! He was such an A-hole and I can’t even begin to tell you all the things he did.. He drew our daughters in it, and totally manipulated them – told them that we had to move out of his house, and if mommy kept the baby they would never ever go on any trips again, no vacations, no skiing,  they would never get any cool clothes and well he basically told them that life as they knew it would end if I kept the baby. And also told them that an abortion was EASY cause it wasn’t even a real child yet and all I had to do was eat a pill… GOD…… My poor kids… They were so confused and sad and didn’t know how to react. When I had told my kids that I was having a baby they were over the moon of joy, cause they – much like me, have always wanted a baby brother/sister and they literally jumped of joy when I told them. But after all he said they didn’t know what to do, and both of them were really sad, cause obviously non of them wants to move.. And they both know that moving away also means that their lives will change drastically due to the fact that I have Absolutely NO money what so ever..

I mean who is he to drag the kids in to it this way… and how childish is that… Grow up and take responsibility for your actions..!!!! I have never ever hidden the fact that I was dreaming of more children NEVER.. I wasn’t on the pill which he knew, and he also knew that if I ever got pregnant I would never ever dream of an abortion – that just isn’t an obtion for me…!!! So I’ve been straight and upfront with everything, and he too has a responsibility too take the precautions that is needed not to have kids, it’s not my responsibility alone..!!! Fact of the matter is that HE was the one not being careful enough and bam a baby landed in my tummy…!!! He’s had the obtion of getting fixed but he never did.. So its not like its my fault, he too is to blame…!!! AArrgghh soooo angry with him…. So now here I am, I can’t afford moving out and I have NOTHING no furniture, no money, oh and yeah now I don’t even have a car anymore..!!!!

You see as if it wasn’t bad enough already I got involved in a car accident a couple of weeks ago and totaled my car 😦 An older couple failed to see a full stop sign and bursted right out in front of me – causing me to drive directly in to the side of their car with 50 km. pr. hour.. My car was totaled and I also got a nice little bonus of getting a whiplash in the accident..

So on top of my exams, taking care of two kids, being pregnant with extreme fatigue and all that follows, having a whiplash injury, having NO money and NO car I also have to figure out how to find a decent place for me and my kids to live, and have to figure out how to get some money so I actually can move… AAAAARRRRHHHHHH everything just seems SO f***ed up right now…!!!!

And worst of all, even though I should hate him and despise him for what he’s putting us through I still love him.??!! And even though I feel unlucky due to my circumstances, I still feel lucky that I’m actually pregnant, and even though I feel unlucky that I got into a car accident, I feel lucky that I got away with a whiplash injury – it could have been so much worse… So I feel SO absolutely unlucky right now, but at the same time lucky…. My life is just ONE big mess right now….

So now I don’t dream of diamond rings, I don’t dream of rolex watches, I don’t dream of mansions and rangerovers… I simply dream of everything working out soon… I dream of peace of mind for my kids and my self, I dream of enjoying my pregnancy instead of it being filled with chaos… So I dream and I dream and I dream….. PLEASE somebody – anybody… Let this dream come true…!!!!

 

Break-in at my neighbors house… back to reality, back to dreaming…..!!

First of all Happy New year to everyone following me 🙂 🙂 Hope you’ve had an amazing Holliday, a merry christmas and a happy new year.. I definitely have.. For Chritsmas we went skiing in Norway, and it was soooo idyllic and beautiful, and how amazing is it to watch the snow falling quietly outside on christmas, while opening gifts and eating delicious food…. New Years eve we celebrated at home, just my little family and my little dog – who was quite scared of all the fireworks poor thing – and before I new it was back to reality and back to school… And with that comes dreaming….

So yesterday was spent daydreaming my day away… Dreaming of a new car like this

Image Even though my dream car still is a Range Rover Sport this comes pretty close to a dreamcar also.. It has plenty of room, and we can easily place our little doggy in the back.. It has 4-wheel drive and most of them has automatic transmission.. It’s perfect for when we go skiing and perfect for traveling and also it’s fairly economic, so it would be win win… However it’s still waaaaaay to expensive for my non existing budget ha ha, but a girl can dream right..??!!

Also I’ve been dreaming about that perfect house.. I really just want a house that I can feel save in.. When my boyfriend has been home for a while I alway get a little scared of being alone when he leaves.. The house I live in is a real “eye-catcher” and way to easy and accessible, and therefor also really easy to break into.. A break-in has always been one of my biggest fears, cause I’m alone with my daughters all the time and I just don’t know what I’d do… So yesterday after dreaming my day away about that perfect secluded house, and that perfect Volvo car there was a knock on my door… It was my neighbor wanting to inform me that there had been a BREAK-IN in her house during the weekend…!!!! WHAT….. a break-in… now thats really close all of the sudden, and I was reminded that it could actually happen to me too.. The scary thing is that it probably happened while I was sitting here in my living room wide awake.. I just didn’t hear or see anything… But what if my house is next…? Thats such a scary thought, so now more than ever, do I want to win the lottery…. PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE dear Lord let me win… So I can get away from this house, and build a house that I can feel save in…. PLEASE…….

Dear person who ever you are in the skies above 

let me win the lottery and I’ll give you love

please give me a little more luck

and I promise I’ll give you a hug

Please give me the freedom I so often dream of

please let my life be a little less tough

and now that you’re at it, I’d like a nice car too

uhh and maybe even a baby or two

And if you can’t give me luck, then at least make me a little more smart

that way I can invent things, and then become a millionaire at heart

Hmm a poet I guess I’ll never be

but a dreamer by heart, now thats just me

Well I still dream and I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again if theres a millionaire/billionaire/gazillionaire out there who doesn’t know what to do with all that money, I’ll help you… I’d gladly take some of them of you’re shoulders ha ha…. 🙂 🙂 Otherwise happy dreaming out there….. 🙂

Why I love love love the States :) :)

Well USA is just absolutely amazing… Don’t really know why I’ve always loved the states so much, but for as long I can remember I’ve just had a thing for that country.. Maybe I was an american in a previous life or something, who knows.. Or maybe it might have something to do with the fact, that when I was a little girl I had this american friend. She only visited my country twice a year because she had family here, but we were the best of friends and had so much fun, and she alway had the coolest stuff. I clearly remember this minnie mouse bathing suit she had -I was soooo jealous and that wasn’t all she always had the brand new barbie dolls that didn’t even exist in my country and a lot of other things we didn’t have over here.. So maybe thats why…??? Don’t know… OR it could be the fact that in the states everything is just bigger and better… For instance this is the most sold car in my country in 2014 :

images-32 and this is standard in the statesimages-39

In the states the supermarkets are HUGE, and here not so much… Just look at this….

The states : images-33 vs. where I live images-35

The states : images-34 vs. where I live Fakta

 

And then there’s the houses, the houses you have over there are amazing…. This is what a standard house looks like in my country, and it’s even a fairly big one too…

images-31 And also fairly expensive… crazy huh…

I know that there obviously are houses over there that are smaller and in much worse shape then this one, and I obviously also know that not everyone in the states can afford a caddilac escalade…. But when you’re in another part of the world, and from watching a variety of reality shows, the cars aren’t as small as the sparks… Another plus in the states :

5-300x225 Automatic gears in your cars…!!!!!!!! AUTOMATIC ! Standard where I live, manual stick gears like this……          images-40

You do have the possibility of choosing automatic transmission though if you buy a brand new car, it’s super expensive though and not many people can afford buying a brand new car, but buy their cars used instead.. And as if the gear thing wasn’t bad enough, the prize on cars in my country is ridiculous.. An example.. A ford grand c-max here costs 59.536 dollars, in the states the starting prize on a similar car is 24.170 dollars, so here it’s more than double the prize.. Theres so much taxes on cars here that it’s embarrassing…  So yet again a reason for loving the states, one could buy a decent car at a reasonable prize… And then we have the doorknobs…. I know.. it’s weird… But I just love the round doorknobs 🙂 Don’t know why, but I just do… Standard doorknobs in my country looks like this :

images-30                  booooring.. and on the front door like this : images-29 booooooring…… In the states though they look like this :

images-27 or this images-26 or this images-25

I mean how fun are they… If I was lucky enough to build my own house one day I would definitely order one of these doorknobs, and on my front door it would look something like this :

images-28 Exept that the door had to be dark red…

Don’t know why, maybe I can blame Dawsons Creek, but I’ve always wanted a white house with a red front door and the a door handle like this 🙂 🙂 Also I would make sure that my daughters rooms would be cute, big and different than the standard rooms in my country..

256b8094-1649-471c-b854-bbef5a6ac3c0_Size620x414      this vs. this       twin-girls-bedroom-ideas-great

the first picture is a standard size room here in my country, and this is actually quite colorful.. usually most people tend to keep everything white and neutral… My girls though, they would definitely get a room like the one on the right.. Uhhh I almost forgot about the closets… I just LOVE that so many homes over there have walk in closets what I wouldn’t give for a walk in closet… In my country a standard size closet looks something like this :

51185_miljo_1        vs. in the states             images-37

And I could keep on going, on and on and on and on and on….. There are so many amazing things about the states and I would LOVE living there for a year or so, however I couldn’t see my self living there for a longer period of time than that.. You see even though our closets are small, our cars are expensive and have manual transmissions, even though our houses are small and boring, I really do love my country.. We have an extremely amazing well fair system, we get to go to the hospital free of charge and we get paid to go to school and even though there obviously are really rich and wealthy people here we are all equals and we all have the same opportunities…. My family that I love and can’t live without are here and the schools are small and safe.. So I won’t be moving to the states any time soon, exept if it was only for a year or so…. and if I was to win that grand prize so I could actually afford it….. all in all I love my country, but still dream about the states and the house I’ll buy over there when I become a millionaire 🙂 🙂

Just dreaming my days away…..

– JohanneMagrethe

 

 

Who doesn’t dream ???

Ideas_for_Kitchen_Islands_9769552_460  images-18 images-19 images-17

Alright so reading my posts I realize that I might seem somewhat shallow, but come on who doesn’t dream ? I mean be honest who wouldn’t like that huge kitchen, the car that starts every single time, a house without a mortgage, dream vacations, and a walk in closet filled with just the right type of clothes..

I mean being a mom, obviously my biggest dream is that my daughters have a long healthy and happy life with little or no sorrows. A life of happiness, surrounded by people who loves them.. And also I wish for their and my sake, that I as well will be blessed with a long and healthy life, so I can be there for them when they grow up, have children and get married… That is without a doubt my number one priority on my wish/dream list..

That said though, how awesome would it be if I could buy them their first car, and if I could buy them their first apartment, so all they’d have to worry about was concentrating about getting a good education and being happy… That would be SO cool…. So so so so cool… And as things are right now all I’d be able to buy them was a bus ticket to school..!!
I know that there are people out there who struggle with bad health such as cancer and other horrible diseases. There are people who are homeless, children being abused and people who can’t afford putting food on their table. In Africa and other poor countries they struggle with starvation and lack simple things that we in the west take for granted and yet they are content with what they have.. So how selfish am I to be dreaming about shallow stupid material things, when what I should be dreaming of is world peace and good health around the world… But I just can’t help myself,  and if I ever was to win, at least half of my winning would without a doubt go to people less fortunate then me… But that said I still dream.. I dream and dream and dream and dream and dream….

Somebody wake me up please, I mean seriously, I’m gonna end up like sleeping beauty, just dreaming my life away….

images-22 images-20 kitchen-island-design 42549-White-Clean-Walk-In-Closet