Phase 1 part two !!

Phase 1 part two !!

First a little summary of my history and relationship with my grandparents… Ever since I was a little child, my grandparents on my fathers side was like my second parents.. I also had an amazing relationship with my other grandparents, but there was just this special bond with my dads parents. I would spend almost every weekend with them, and they’d spoil me like there was no tomorrow. We’d go for rides in the car every time I visited and in the summer we’d stop for ice-cream and in the winter we’d stop for chocolate. I’d be in the backseat enjoying every single minute of my time with them, I have SO many precious memories with them. Being with them was freedom, it was a place where I could be myself, and a place where I always felt appreciated and loved. I was never doubtful of their love for me, and we had so many little routines and traditions that nobody would probably understand, but that made so much sense to us.
I felt like I was the daughter they never had, and there was nothing better then being with them. When I got a little older and started going on sleepovers with my friends, my granddad was the one who would pick me up and drive me home when I missed my parents and wanted to go home. When it was raining and didn’t feel like riding my bike, I could always call my granddad and he’d pick me up. When I didn’t call to ask if I could come over, they’d call me, tell me they missed me and ask me if I wanted to come over. I loved them more than words can express and enjoyed every second of my time with them.

In about the 7th grade I started getting a little more busy with all of my friends so I didn’t spend as much time with them as I used to. And when I started 8th grade my time with them was even more limited. I didn’t have as many sleepovers with them and I wouldn’t go for as many car trips with them as I used to. I’d visit them of course and I’d call them, and they would never go on any of their little trips without calling me first, asking if I wanted to come. One day we had planned for me to go with them for a ride, but I was having so much fun with my friends that I called them last minute canceling our plan. I felt really guilty, but my granddad assured me that it was okay and not to worry about it “you can go with us next week” he said and that was the last conversation I had with him. My friends and I heard an ambulance that day, and talked about how it sounded to be close to where we were – this was just about 15 minutes after I had hung up on my granddad, but we didn’t think to much of it, and kept about our business. What I didn’t know at that time was that the ambulance was actually for my granddad and that he was actually only 150 meters away from where I was..! He had crashed his car in to a light pole, as he’d suffered a stroke while driving..!!! My life as I knew it had changed..!!

My life in three phases !!

My life in three phases.

So lately I’ve had this need of getting my life of my chest. You know like when you have some really really secret that nobody should know but you still just have this utter need of telling somebody about it.. That’s kinda how I feel… I need to tell someone, I don’t know why and I don’t know if it will help me in some weird way but still I just feel like telling it. And what better place than to share it here..? Not at a lot of people will see it, and those who do see it don’t know me and therefor cant really judge me for my life choices. And who knows maybe in some weird twisted way, getting it down on paper will help me realize why I have this huge need of dreaming. This annoying, irritating, stupid dreaming that I somehow cant seem to stop… Maybe telling my story, just seeing it in writing, maybe that will help me to stop..?! I don’t know, but than at least I’ve gotten it of my chest.. I will have gotten it of my chest and still somehow have kept it a secret… You see most of my friends obviously know my life story, but then again do they really know it..? I doubt it, maybe a couple of them but certainly not all of them..!! So who would wanna read my entire long and boring life story..? Well probably no one, but I will, and I will get it out there so maybe it feels like people know, so it feels like I told somebody, so it’s out…

So when I think of my life I think of it in different phases/stages.. The first stage was the time before I lost my grandfather.. Loosing him changed something in me, which is why my second life phase starts after loosing him.. Then comes the third life phase, the phase after I became a mother and also the phase I’m currently in, or well maybe I’m actually in my fourth phase, the dreamer phase.. I don’t know yet, but anyways here goes, my life in three phases….

Phase 1. Part one !!
– This is the phase of my life from when I was born till the time I lost my grandfather, or my ”Pre-grandad died period”

So I consider my upbringing quite good.. Actually I find myself really really fortunate. I have 3 amazing siblings, a mom and dad that till this day are still madly in love and grandparents that were extraordinary.. They were amazing actually, and I loved spending time with them more than anything. As the youngest of four children I got a lot of attention amongst my sisters, especially my next eldest sister really really looked after me in any way possible. She would be the one I went to if something was wrong, she was the one who rubbed my belly when it hurt and she was the one I would snuggle into when I couldn’t sleep. She was the one I told things to before anybody else, and she was the one I trusted more than anyone.. Being the youngest definitely had it’s benefits at least when I was little. When I got a little older it turned out to be more of a disadvantage but I’ll get back to that later.
As a child I always struggled a little with my self-confidence, I struggled with not always feeling good enough and generally I was a little fragile. At age 5 I was admitted to the hospital for 3 weeks cause I couldn’t hold anything down, my stomach hurt all the time, I kept throwing up and they couldn’t figure out why. They eventually came to the conclusion that it most likely was something psychological, and looking back I definitely think it was. However I don’t in any way feel that I had a bad or tough childhood, just the opposite in fact. Yeah I was a little fragile and a little sensitive maybe, and yeah I did get teased a little in school, but after my parents moved me to another school in the 3’rd grade everything changed, and I have so many amazing and beautiful memories from that time. I spend a lot of time with my amazing grandparents and had a lot of very good friends. From 3rd til 7th grade was an amazing period of my life. Everything was so innocent, so carefree and I didn’t have a lot of worries in my life. I had a lot of close and really really good friends and we had so much fun. We would go to the youth center several times a week and in about 6th or 7th grade boys started getting a little interesting too. As I got a little older I still struggled quite a bit with my self-confidence, I remember thinking that all of my friends were much prettier and much smarter than me. At the same time all of my friends started hitting puberty, and see I didn’t..! I actually was 15 before puberty set in – which also meant that I didn’t get boobs and curves like all the other girls. At the same time I guess I wasn’t really in the same place as them mentally – cause my hormones weren’t kicking in like everybody else’s. I didn’t really think there was anything I was really good at, but still I did rather well, and I did have a couple of things that I succeeded in -gymnastics and English.. I must say that I was actually the best in class when it came to English, so that really gave me some confidence. When I was in the 8’th grade my English really came to good use when this American girl started in my school. Soon we would become the best of friends, and it was about this time that I really started changing. I felt more and more left out, even though I really wasn’t, actually I hanged with the cool crowd, I guess I just didn’t always feel like I fit in. But again looking back it was probably also because I hadn’t hit puberty like all the other girls, and still I didn’t feel pretty and popular like they were. Looking back though I was popular, I just didn’t realize it at the time..!! The 8th grade was also the year that I lost my granddad.

Phase 1 part two will be uploaded soon but first a couple of my favorite songs from this phase… You see music has always played a huge role in my life and I guess I could easily divide my life in songs rather than phases, well anyways heres a couple of them…

When I listen to these songs I go back to age 5 or six and remember how my sisters would do my hair and make up while this was blowing out of their speakers in their room..

A little older now, my sister got a brand new record player and this was what she would play all the time 🙂 🙂 I loved sitting in her room listening to Madonna

8th grade and we LOVED this one

After I lost my grandad, Mariah Carey was on my stereo all the time…

 

I could have put tons of different music on here, but these are some of the most memorable for me.. 🙂 🙂 Gotta love the 80’ties and 90’ties…. 🙂

Seeking billionair -just to prove a point !

Okey so why is it, that only rich people says “money doesn’t make you happy” I mean seriously, how many times do you hear that coming from people struggling with financial issues…? Of course money would make them happy, off course it would make their life easier, of course it would buy them happiness… Come on seriously… It’s like when rich people give diet advise.. All you have to do is to put together a little fresh easy salat like

this  images-41  easy and fast.!  and then be sure to have a fresh smoothie with it

images-43    stay organic at all times images-42

and preferably with no less than 100 healthy organic ingredients… easy right? Uhh and then be sure to do pilates, yoga, and cardio everyday, EASY BREASY, Uhh and also be sure to meditate at least once a day, preferably on a quiet spot…

Well DUH you have a private chef, a maid to do your grocery shopping, a driver and a personal trainer.. You have a nanny to take care of your kids, and to take them to their ballet classes and football training, and while their away you have plenty of quit time to meditate at least once a day. You don’t have a 9-5 job and don’t have to stress or work several jobs to make ends meet, and you have an accountant to be sure your bills are paid on time -others can’t even pay their bills, and they have to prioritize which bills are more important… And now you might be thinking that most rich people actually worked their but of at one point to get to where they are right? And yeah thats true in some cases, but all of those people had a gift of some sort that not all people have…!!

So dreams CAN’T come true for everybody.! You CAN’T always do what makes you happy and you CAN’T always aim for the stars, cause sometimes theres just to many clouds  to even catch a glimpse of them..  I mean what is my gift..? Being a great mother? Yeah I’m good at being a mother, but does that make me rich..?? NO !!!! What if I don’t have other talents than that, then what do I do, then how do I get rich..? Can I even get people to read my blog..???!!! And can that make me rich…??? NO !!! So what do I and a lot of other people with no “money making talents” do  -we dream…. And dream and dream and dream…

Dream of meeting that rich man, dream of winning the lottery, dream that somewhere out there we have a rich uncle from whom we inherit billions of dollars, dream that somehow we magically receive some sort of talent a talent we didn’t even know we possesed so we can get rich fast. We enter countless online contests hoping to be the one who wins, use our last savings on lottery tickets, cause who knows maybe this time it’s our turn . The hours and hours and hours and hours I’ve used dreaming my life away, the hundred of hours I’ve used trying to figure out what talent I have, if any, the thousands of minutes I’ve wondered how to make money -what path to choose in life, the billions of seconds I’ve spend researching the internet hoping that all of the sudden it would be right there in front of me, that path, that perfect job, that perfect education that screams ME… And still at an age of 35 I still haven’t figured out what it is, what my purpose is..??

I don’t need 10 cars, I don’t need a house on each continent, I don’t need a private jet, I don’t need  a thousand pairs of Manolo Blaniks in my closet, I don’t need a castle and beachfront view.. All I wish for, is for me, my family and those close to me, to be freed of their financial burdens.. I wish for those I love that they could stop worrying, stop stressing about the bills, just be able to take a trip to where ever they wanna go when ever they want to go. I wish for myself and for those I love that they could choose whether or not they wanted to dedicate their time to work or to their children and family.. You see theres nothing I want more than to be a stay at home mom !!! I would dedicate my time to my to my children, my family those I love, and I would spend time on the internet not dreaming, but researching which causes I would donate money to, and I would search for ways that I with my newfound wealth could help where it’s needed.. In my country stay at home moms unfortunately don’t exist.. It’s not an option in my country or at least not for many.. And for most people it’s not even a wish.. Cause you see they’ve already found their purpose, they’ve found their path they’ve found that job that actually make them happy, that job that they can’t wait to get to in the morning…. If only I also had that maybe I too would be satisfied, but I don’t have that, so I’m not happy… If only I won the lottery, then I could be a stay at home mom and then I could tell the world that that is my path, my purpose and that is the life I choose to live because I have the money to back it up..!

So dear billionaire if you’re out there and if you’re one of those who said that money not everything, and if you somehow magically read this post.. I’ll prove you wrong, I’ll prove to you that money DOES in fact make you happy, and I’ll gladly accept how ever many billions or millions that you want to give me – just so I can prove my point…!!!

Until then – I’ll keep dreaming and when I’m already dreaming why not dream BIG, after all it’s just a dream 🙂 🙂

images-44             images-47  images-45                    images-46

Why I love love love the States :) :)

Well USA is just absolutely amazing… Don’t really know why I’ve always loved the states so much, but for as long I can remember I’ve just had a thing for that country.. Maybe I was an american in a previous life or something, who knows.. Or maybe it might have something to do with the fact, that when I was a little girl I had this american friend. She only visited my country twice a year because she had family here, but we were the best of friends and had so much fun, and she alway had the coolest stuff. I clearly remember this minnie mouse bathing suit she had -I was soooo jealous and that wasn’t all she always had the brand new barbie dolls that didn’t even exist in my country and a lot of other things we didn’t have over here.. So maybe thats why…??? Don’t know… OR it could be the fact that in the states everything is just bigger and better… For instance this is the most sold car in my country in 2014 :

images-32 and this is standard in the statesimages-39

In the states the supermarkets are HUGE, and here not so much… Just look at this….

The states : images-33 vs. where I live images-35

The states : images-34 vs. where I live Fakta

 

And then there’s the houses, the houses you have over there are amazing…. This is what a standard house looks like in my country, and it’s even a fairly big one too…

images-31 And also fairly expensive… crazy huh…

I know that there obviously are houses over there that are smaller and in much worse shape then this one, and I obviously also know that not everyone in the states can afford a caddilac escalade…. But when you’re in another part of the world, and from watching a variety of reality shows, the cars aren’t as small as the sparks… Another plus in the states :

5-300x225 Automatic gears in your cars…!!!!!!!! AUTOMATIC ! Standard where I live, manual stick gears like this……          images-40

You do have the possibility of choosing automatic transmission though if you buy a brand new car, it’s super expensive though and not many people can afford buying a brand new car, but buy their cars used instead.. And as if the gear thing wasn’t bad enough, the prize on cars in my country is ridiculous.. An example.. A ford grand c-max here costs 59.536 dollars, in the states the starting prize on a similar car is 24.170 dollars, so here it’s more than double the prize.. Theres so much taxes on cars here that it’s embarrassing…  So yet again a reason for loving the states, one could buy a decent car at a reasonable prize… And then we have the doorknobs…. I know.. it’s weird… But I just love the round doorknobs 🙂 Don’t know why, but I just do… Standard doorknobs in my country looks like this :

images-30                  booooring.. and on the front door like this : images-29 booooooring…… In the states though they look like this :

images-27 or this images-26 or this images-25

I mean how fun are they… If I was lucky enough to build my own house one day I would definitely order one of these doorknobs, and on my front door it would look something like this :

images-28 Exept that the door had to be dark red…

Don’t know why, maybe I can blame Dawsons Creek, but I’ve always wanted a white house with a red front door and the a door handle like this 🙂 🙂 Also I would make sure that my daughters rooms would be cute, big and different than the standard rooms in my country..

256b8094-1649-471c-b854-bbef5a6ac3c0_Size620x414      this vs. this       twin-girls-bedroom-ideas-great

the first picture is a standard size room here in my country, and this is actually quite colorful.. usually most people tend to keep everything white and neutral… My girls though, they would definitely get a room like the one on the right.. Uhhh I almost forgot about the closets… I just LOVE that so many homes over there have walk in closets what I wouldn’t give for a walk in closet… In my country a standard size closet looks something like this :

51185_miljo_1        vs. in the states             images-37

And I could keep on going, on and on and on and on and on….. There are so many amazing things about the states and I would LOVE living there for a year or so, however I couldn’t see my self living there for a longer period of time than that.. You see even though our closets are small, our cars are expensive and have manual transmissions, even though our houses are small and boring, I really do love my country.. We have an extremely amazing well fair system, we get to go to the hospital free of charge and we get paid to go to school and even though there obviously are really rich and wealthy people here we are all equals and we all have the same opportunities…. My family that I love and can’t live without are here and the schools are small and safe.. So I won’t be moving to the states any time soon, exept if it was only for a year or so…. and if I was to win that grand prize so I could actually afford it….. all in all I love my country, but still dream about the states and the house I’ll buy over there when I become a millionaire 🙂 🙂

Just dreaming my days away…..

– JohanneMagrethe