No House, no Car, No money – but a baby in my tummy.!!

Yeah so a lot has happened these last couple of months, a long hard roller coaster ride  filled with chaos and emotions, and a whole freaking lot of them..!!

So saturday feburary 14th I found out I was pregnant !!!!! I couldn’t believe it and for a week or so I kept taking pregnancy tests every single day – after taking 14 pregnancy tests I finally believed that I was pregnant. In the past I’ve had a couple of miscarriges though so I didn’t want to say anything to anyone – including my boyfriend – before I was sure that everything was okey.. I mean if I was gonna loose the baby anyways I didn’t see any reason to cause chaos in our relationship.. So I made an appointment for an early ultrasound at 7+4 weeks pregnant and my plan was to tell him after that – depending on the result of course.. However my oldest daughter figured it out a couple of days prior to the ultrasound so I felt that I had to tell him so she didnt have to keep secrets from her dad. And so I told him..!! And thats when the chaos started….

He got absolutely pissed..! I had expected him to get angry as he really doesn’t want more kids, but I don’t think I had quite expected the reaction I got. He basically told me to get an abortion or move out..!!! He was such an A-hole and I can’t even begin to tell you all the things he did.. He drew our daughters in it, and totally manipulated them – told them that we had to move out of his house, and if mommy kept the baby they would never ever go on any trips again, no vacations, no skiing,  they would never get any cool clothes and well he basically told them that life as they knew it would end if I kept the baby. And also told them that an abortion was EASY cause it wasn’t even a real child yet and all I had to do was eat a pill… GOD…… My poor kids… They were so confused and sad and didn’t know how to react. When I had told my kids that I was having a baby they were over the moon of joy, cause they – much like me, have always wanted a baby brother/sister and they literally jumped of joy when I told them. But after all he said they didn’t know what to do, and both of them were really sad, cause obviously non of them wants to move.. And they both know that moving away also means that their lives will change drastically due to the fact that I have Absolutely NO money what so ever..

I mean who is he to drag the kids in to it this way… and how childish is that… Grow up and take responsibility for your actions..!!!! I have never ever hidden the fact that I was dreaming of more children NEVER.. I wasn’t on the pill which he knew, and he also knew that if I ever got pregnant I would never ever dream of an abortion – that just isn’t an obtion for me…!!! So I’ve been straight and upfront with everything, and he too has a responsibility too take the precautions that is needed not to have kids, it’s not my responsibility alone..!!! Fact of the matter is that HE was the one not being careful enough and bam a baby landed in my tummy…!!! He’s had the obtion of getting fixed but he never did.. So its not like its my fault, he too is to blame…!!! AArrgghh soooo angry with him…. So now here I am, I can’t afford moving out and I have NOTHING no furniture, no money, oh and yeah now I don’t even have a car anymore..!!!!

You see as if it wasn’t bad enough already I got involved in a car accident a couple of weeks ago and totaled my car 😦 An older couple failed to see a full stop sign and bursted right out in front of me – causing me to drive directly in to the side of their car with 50 km. pr. hour.. My car was totaled and I also got a nice little bonus of getting a whiplash in the accident..

So on top of my exams, taking care of two kids, being pregnant with extreme fatigue and all that follows, having a whiplash injury, having NO money and NO car I also have to figure out how to find a decent place for me and my kids to live, and have to figure out how to get some money so I actually can move… AAAAARRRRHHHHHH everything just seems SO f***ed up right now…!!!!

And worst of all, even though I should hate him and despise him for what he’s putting us through I still love him.??!! And even though I feel unlucky due to my circumstances, I still feel lucky that I’m actually pregnant, and even though I feel unlucky that I got into a car accident, I feel lucky that I got away with a whiplash injury – it could have been so much worse… So I feel SO absolutely unlucky right now, but at the same time lucky…. My life is just ONE big mess right now….

So now I don’t dream of diamond rings, I don’t dream of rolex watches, I don’t dream of mansions and rangerovers… I simply dream of everything working out soon… I dream of peace of mind for my kids and my self, I dream of enjoying my pregnancy instead of it being filled with chaos… So I dream and I dream and I dream….. PLEASE somebody – anybody… Let this dream come true…!!!!

 

Friday – Jackpot day…!!!

Uhhhhh it’s friday again… Fridays are always a little weird for me as that is the day of the Eurojackpot drawings.. And friday after friday after friday, I literally dream my day away.. I just can’t seem to let the thought of winning go, and every friday I actually try to force myself to not think about it, cause the day I don’t think about it might just be the day I win..??

I mean it’s kinda like when we tried for a second child. We really really really wanted to have a baby, and planned everything. I had always wanted to have a baby in the fall so just before christmas we started trying.. I thought it would take a couple of months at the most, cause first time around it was so easy… But the second time, nothing happened… I didn’t get it, I mean we knew that we were able to have a child but still it just didn’t happen. I ended up thinking about it every single second of every single day, I got totally obsessed, using ovulations tests and so on, but still nothing… After a year and a half of trying and having 2 miscarriages, I finally gave up hope, and we decided to seek help… BUT after giving up hope, not using the ovulation tests, not thinking about it all the time – thats when I got pregnant…. So you see I believe everything happens when you least expect it, and maybe the same goes for winning the lottery – it will happen when I least expect it…!!!! So maybe when I’m finally done with my education in a couple of years, and maybe when my financial situation is better – then maybe that’s when I’ll winn…???

I just can’t wait though….. I want it to happen noooooowwwww…. Buuuuuuhuuuuuuuu

…. “I wanna be a billionaire sooo f*ing baaad buy all of the things I never had” ……

This song just says it sooooo well…. Thats exactly how I feel and especially on fridays… Today the Jackpot is 18 million dollars – I mean how insane is that… Think of all the people I would be able to help with that amount of money…. CRAZY… And this week in my country we have a “cure cancer week” so I would definitely donate a huge amount of money to that also…. Please please and please with please on top, dear God please let me win…………. I promise to do good with the money, I promise………. 🙂 🙂 🙂

………………………………  18.000.000,00 $ ……………………….

 

images-6 images-7 images-8 images-9

 

 

Seeking billionair -just to prove a point !

Okey so why is it, that only rich people says “money doesn’t make you happy” I mean seriously, how many times do you hear that coming from people struggling with financial issues…? Of course money would make them happy, off course it would make their life easier, of course it would buy them happiness… Come on seriously… It’s like when rich people give diet advise.. All you have to do is to put together a little fresh easy salat like

this  images-41  easy and fast.!  and then be sure to have a fresh smoothie with it

images-43    stay organic at all times images-42

and preferably with no less than 100 healthy organic ingredients… easy right? Uhh and then be sure to do pilates, yoga, and cardio everyday, EASY BREASY, Uhh and also be sure to meditate at least once a day, preferably on a quiet spot…

Well DUH you have a private chef, a maid to do your grocery shopping, a driver and a personal trainer.. You have a nanny to take care of your kids, and to take them to their ballet classes and football training, and while their away you have plenty of quit time to meditate at least once a day. You don’t have a 9-5 job and don’t have to stress or work several jobs to make ends meet, and you have an accountant to be sure your bills are paid on time -others can’t even pay their bills, and they have to prioritize which bills are more important… And now you might be thinking that most rich people actually worked their but of at one point to get to where they are right? And yeah thats true in some cases, but all of those people had a gift of some sort that not all people have…!!

So dreams CAN’T come true for everybody.! You CAN’T always do what makes you happy and you CAN’T always aim for the stars, cause sometimes theres just to many clouds  to even catch a glimpse of them..  I mean what is my gift..? Being a great mother? Yeah I’m good at being a mother, but does that make me rich..?? NO !!!! What if I don’t have other talents than that, then what do I do, then how do I get rich..? Can I even get people to read my blog..???!!! And can that make me rich…??? NO !!! So what do I and a lot of other people with no “money making talents” do  -we dream…. And dream and dream and dream…

Dream of meeting that rich man, dream of winning the lottery, dream that somewhere out there we have a rich uncle from whom we inherit billions of dollars, dream that somehow we magically receive some sort of talent a talent we didn’t even know we possesed so we can get rich fast. We enter countless online contests hoping to be the one who wins, use our last savings on lottery tickets, cause who knows maybe this time it’s our turn . The hours and hours and hours and hours I’ve used dreaming my life away, the hundred of hours I’ve used trying to figure out what talent I have, if any, the thousands of minutes I’ve wondered how to make money -what path to choose in life, the billions of seconds I’ve spend researching the internet hoping that all of the sudden it would be right there in front of me, that path, that perfect job, that perfect education that screams ME… And still at an age of 35 I still haven’t figured out what it is, what my purpose is..??

I don’t need 10 cars, I don’t need a house on each continent, I don’t need a private jet, I don’t need  a thousand pairs of Manolo Blaniks in my closet, I don’t need a castle and beachfront view.. All I wish for, is for me, my family and those close to me, to be freed of their financial burdens.. I wish for those I love that they could stop worrying, stop stressing about the bills, just be able to take a trip to where ever they wanna go when ever they want to go. I wish for myself and for those I love that they could choose whether or not they wanted to dedicate their time to work or to their children and family.. You see theres nothing I want more than to be a stay at home mom !!! I would dedicate my time to my to my children, my family those I love, and I would spend time on the internet not dreaming, but researching which causes I would donate money to, and I would search for ways that I with my newfound wealth could help where it’s needed.. In my country stay at home moms unfortunately don’t exist.. It’s not an option in my country or at least not for many.. And for most people it’s not even a wish.. Cause you see they’ve already found their purpose, they’ve found their path they’ve found that job that actually make them happy, that job that they can’t wait to get to in the morning…. If only I also had that maybe I too would be satisfied, but I don’t have that, so I’m not happy… If only I won the lottery, then I could be a stay at home mom and then I could tell the world that that is my path, my purpose and that is the life I choose to live because I have the money to back it up..!

So dear billionaire if you’re out there and if you’re one of those who said that money not everything, and if you somehow magically read this post.. I’ll prove you wrong, I’ll prove to you that money DOES in fact make you happy, and I’ll gladly accept how ever many billions or millions that you want to give me – just so I can prove my point…!!!

Until then – I’ll keep dreaming and when I’m already dreaming why not dream BIG, after all it’s just a dream 🙂 🙂

images-44             images-47  images-45                    images-46

Why I love love love the States :) :)

Well USA is just absolutely amazing… Don’t really know why I’ve always loved the states so much, but for as long I can remember I’ve just had a thing for that country.. Maybe I was an american in a previous life or something, who knows.. Or maybe it might have something to do with the fact, that when I was a little girl I had this american friend. She only visited my country twice a year because she had family here, but we were the best of friends and had so much fun, and she alway had the coolest stuff. I clearly remember this minnie mouse bathing suit she had -I was soooo jealous and that wasn’t all she always had the brand new barbie dolls that didn’t even exist in my country and a lot of other things we didn’t have over here.. So maybe thats why…??? Don’t know… OR it could be the fact that in the states everything is just bigger and better… For instance this is the most sold car in my country in 2014 :

images-32 and this is standard in the statesimages-39

In the states the supermarkets are HUGE, and here not so much… Just look at this….

The states : images-33 vs. where I live images-35

The states : images-34 vs. where I live Fakta

 

And then there’s the houses, the houses you have over there are amazing…. This is what a standard house looks like in my country, and it’s even a fairly big one too…

images-31 And also fairly expensive… crazy huh…

I know that there obviously are houses over there that are smaller and in much worse shape then this one, and I obviously also know that not everyone in the states can afford a caddilac escalade…. But when you’re in another part of the world, and from watching a variety of reality shows, the cars aren’t as small as the sparks… Another plus in the states :

5-300x225 Automatic gears in your cars…!!!!!!!! AUTOMATIC ! Standard where I live, manual stick gears like this……          images-40

You do have the possibility of choosing automatic transmission though if you buy a brand new car, it’s super expensive though and not many people can afford buying a brand new car, but buy their cars used instead.. And as if the gear thing wasn’t bad enough, the prize on cars in my country is ridiculous.. An example.. A ford grand c-max here costs 59.536 dollars, in the states the starting prize on a similar car is 24.170 dollars, so here it’s more than double the prize.. Theres so much taxes on cars here that it’s embarrassing…  So yet again a reason for loving the states, one could buy a decent car at a reasonable prize… And then we have the doorknobs…. I know.. it’s weird… But I just love the round doorknobs 🙂 Don’t know why, but I just do… Standard doorknobs in my country looks like this :

images-30                  booooring.. and on the front door like this : images-29 booooooring…… In the states though they look like this :

images-27 or this images-26 or this images-25

I mean how fun are they… If I was lucky enough to build my own house one day I would definitely order one of these doorknobs, and on my front door it would look something like this :

images-28 Exept that the door had to be dark red…

Don’t know why, maybe I can blame Dawsons Creek, but I’ve always wanted a white house with a red front door and the a door handle like this 🙂 🙂 Also I would make sure that my daughters rooms would be cute, big and different than the standard rooms in my country..

256b8094-1649-471c-b854-bbef5a6ac3c0_Size620x414      this vs. this       twin-girls-bedroom-ideas-great

the first picture is a standard size room here in my country, and this is actually quite colorful.. usually most people tend to keep everything white and neutral… My girls though, they would definitely get a room like the one on the right.. Uhhh I almost forgot about the closets… I just LOVE that so many homes over there have walk in closets what I wouldn’t give for a walk in closet… In my country a standard size closet looks something like this :

51185_miljo_1        vs. in the states             images-37

And I could keep on going, on and on and on and on and on….. There are so many amazing things about the states and I would LOVE living there for a year or so, however I couldn’t see my self living there for a longer period of time than that.. You see even though our closets are small, our cars are expensive and have manual transmissions, even though our houses are small and boring, I really do love my country.. We have an extremely amazing well fair system, we get to go to the hospital free of charge and we get paid to go to school and even though there obviously are really rich and wealthy people here we are all equals and we all have the same opportunities…. My family that I love and can’t live without are here and the schools are small and safe.. So I won’t be moving to the states any time soon, exept if it was only for a year or so…. and if I was to win that grand prize so I could actually afford it….. all in all I love my country, but still dream about the states and the house I’ll buy over there when I become a millionaire 🙂 🙂

Just dreaming my days away…..

– JohanneMagrethe